The Ultimate Fandom Adventure
by DavidTennant'sSideburns
Summary: The Tesseract has been stolen from Equestria! Can the Doctor find it in time to save the universe from ripping apart once again?
1. Chapter 1

River

I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't keep up with The Doctor. I wasn't big on cardio back in my jail cell, and it was working against me now. On our heels was the entire population of a sack of galactic mutant spiders, all twelve feet tall new-born. It wasn't really their fault. They were just hungry, and we were the only food in the building. We hoped.

"Run faster!" yelled The Doctor. He was about ten feet ahead of me, and slowing down to stay by me. It was hard to get purchase on the slippery industrial floors in my felt bottom boots. I kicked them off as I ran, praying I wouldn't trip. Luckily, The Doctor had a hand on my elbow, and I managed to get them off without falling on my face.

I quickly got ahead of him, and ran faster than I ever had before.

"Brilliant job, River!"

"Thanks sweetie." I smiled as I ran. We were holding hands, and I was looking into his eyes, and he into mine. Its not our fault really, that we weren't paying attention enough to notice when something darted out in front of us.

"Excuse me!" screamed the thing we ran into. Well, man would be a more proper term. He had messy hair, and was wearing a long over coat.

The Doctor grabbed his hand too, and pulled him along behind us.

"I say, what is this?" The man yelled as he was towed behind us.

"Listen, if you could just run, that would be great." I told him. He looked confused, but then he looked behind at what was following us. For a moment, he looked terrified. But then he looked excited. Genuinely excited.

"Jolly good!" he yelled, and then we all ran for all we were worth.

Once we were back inside the Tardis, The Doctor locks the doors.

"Right then." He turns to look at the tall man. "What's your name then?" The man, who seems to have had a slight shock, (as many people who enter the Tardis for the first time do) looks up at him.

"Holmes." He says. "Sherlock Holmes."


	2. Amy Joins The Adventure

Amy

There'll be a stone right next to mine / we'll be together till the end of time / don't you go before I do / I'm gonna tell the grave digger that he better dig two.

I'm sitting on my floor with my feet touching the ceiling and my back on my bed, listening to the Band Perry raging on some dude-hole about death, when I'm knocked backwards (well, the rest of the way backwards) by an explosion of light. There, standing before me, is a giant blue box. It even says so on the top, near the door: POLICE BOX PUBLIC CALL. I try to rise but the door opens, unleashing a heat wave that could knock Satan off his feet.

"I told you, I told you, you needed to pull the blue button, not push it, you idiot!" A man stumbles out of the Police Box and kicks it, running his fingers through his very long mop of hair. Briefly I wonder if he'd ever seen a pair of scissors. He paces back and forth in front of the Box, muttering, "Let's see, we switched directions in the space-time continuum so…" He turns around quickly, his finger raised as if he just thought of something. "Earth, Scotland, 2013, yes, this is good, this is very good, soooo…" Suddenly a flash of recognition blinds me for a moment. Brown, thick hair, almost no eyebrows above his green eyes, the erratic, distracted, quick way he speaks in his English accent - "DOCTOR?" I shriek, and disentangle myself from the pile of laundry that grows up the wall.

He looks up from the TARDIS, recollection glinting across his face. He analyzes his surroundings intently, and his eyes fall on me. He mouths something as tears rise from his bottom eyelids. "Amy?" He says, his voice cracking. I rush toward him and he wraps me in a hug. He's only a head taller than me now. The last time I saw him he was about my entire body length taller than me….

Wait a minute.

"You said two MINUTES!"

I'm about to slap him a good one across his face when I hear another man's voice. "Well, I'm sorry." I watch as another man walks suavely into my room from the Box. "Buttons are meant to be pushed."

"All this time I thought Sherlock Holmes was a genius, not a bloody idiot!" the Doctor throws over his shoulder. "River, I want you to meet someone." He turns back to me and does the finger thing again. "Wait, hold on, hold on, how did we end up crossing your timeline if you left me months ago? As an adult of course, and did you know you tried to kiss—oops. Spoilers." He winks saucily.

"What is going…. You INTERRUPTED MY YOGA!" I immediately fall into a flawless Upward Dog pose. Well, I think it's an Upward Dog, but I sorta made it up so I can't really remember what I called it.

"Well, there was this whole big schpeal in England, when was it, Sherlock?"

"1888 of course!"

"Ah yes, November second, 1888. Well, anyways, there was a spider, and I just broke several time laws, well, I didn't break any time laws, Watson over here did." He elbows the other man.

Suddenly a beautiful, tall woman with cascades and cascades of curly blond hair steps out of the TARDIS.

"Hello, dear."

"I'm not Watson!"

"Well, what happened was very, very improbable and rather ridiculous, and now I'm probably in trouble with the Time Cops." Realization jolts him to reality and he tears up again. "Never mind. Well Amy, I think I owe you one."

I extricate myself from the Upward Dog pose and nod. "Yes. I think you do."

"Wanna go on an adventure?"

"YES!" I shriek and start dancing around the room with this River girl while Sherlock sulks.

"Where to, Captain?" he salutes me and grins.

"EQUESTRIA!"


	3. Journey To Equestria

River

The Doctor smiles his giant smile. His Amy smile. "Funny little planet that, it's full of ponies. How is anything ever going to go wrong there? Our adventure will have to be canceled."

"I'm sure you'll find us some sort of trouble." Amy smiles back at him.

"Um, excuse me, but will someone tell me what we're doing here? Adventure? I have a murder to solve." Sherlock pipes up.

"That's just gonna have to wait Watson." The Doctor answers him. "Though not really. I'm sure you've already deduced some sort of explanation for my box."

"Yes, yes, yes, a time traveling space ship. I got that after I walked in and it was bigger on the inside." The Doctor gives him a funny look, but quickly replaces it his brilliant smile.

"Yes, I should have expected someone like you to already know about this type of stuff. Anywho, everyone into the Tardis."

We all file inside, Amy doing a double take at the new layout. The Tardis is still cooling down. Wacky Doctor. Leaving the brakes on the Tardis.

"So, Amy, where in Equestria do you wanna go?"

"How about... The castle. Seems like a good place to start, yeah."

"Yeah, okay, castle, I can do that."

He pulls a couple of switches. I roll my eyes. He' s driving all wrong.

The Tardis lurches and pitches. We all hold onto the railing. Sherlock looks particularly sick. Then things start to smoke and wine.

"Doctor, what did you do?!" I yell at him

"I dunno, there's some kind of force field around the castle. Pony magic! I can't penetrate it! EVERYONE HOLD ON!"

We flip end over end, cartwheeling madly. Then there is a huge jolt, and we stop. One of the doors swings open,and through it steps a purple baby dragon.

"Hey!" He says. "What's going on! Is this one of Rainbow Dash's pranks? Cause this is not funny. Do you realize how much I'm going to have to pick up? This has made a huge mess. Not cool"

The dragon is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen. I pick him up.

"Hello sweetie."

He blushes.

"Um, hi. My name's Spike. Are you guys lost or something?"

"No!" The Doctor jumps up. He grabs the dragon from my arms, and sets him down.

"I'm not lost, I'm never lost. But we may be a little... turned around. Do you think you could point us to the nearest-"

"SPIKE!" We hear someone yell from outside.

"COMING!" Spike yells back. "Come with me," Spike tells us all. "Twilight Sparkle will wanna sort this out with you.


	4. Chapters 4-5

**Two Chapters today :) Writing this story with my best friend, me as River and her as Amy, so sorry for any inconsistencies. **

Amy

So I didn't know travelling into another dimension was even more dangerous than crossing someone else's timeline. The ride was shaky and unstable and I wondered if the Police Box would fall apart for several moments. Everything is broken into multicoloured blocks instead of having different shades and values as it is in Scotland. When I'm finished taking in the now simplistic design of the inside of the TARDIS, we get attacked by a tiny purple…. Thing. It looks most definitely like some sort of creature, but with a terrifyingly disproportionate body. Its head was the size of a soccer ball, its body half the size in a strange singular shade of monotone purple. No shadows, no complexity to his form. I wonder how it stays upright.

"Well, hello." River says to the alien, waving to it with her fingers as if it were a child.

"What's that?" I say, backing up for a moment.

"Well, it's a dragon. Haven't you seen a dragon before?" River picks it up and cuddles it.

I scowl. "Well, maybe I would have seen a dragon if it weren't for – "

"You guys look funny." It's strange watching words come from something that isn't human, but I'm on a roll and the Doctor hasn't gotten his fair share of guilt trip. He introduces himself as Spike.

"Hush up –"

"Well, we come from… somewhere else. Well, somewhere, sometime else ANYWAYS, we were supposed to go to Canterlot for the day and I must have miscalculated. SHERLOCK! DID YOU TOUCH ANYTHING?"

"Quite the contrary, I remained stiller than the child did in my efforts to—"

"Must be the TARDIS. I think she needs a new part."

"Child?"

"I'm the Doctor, by the way, please to meet you." He shakes Spike's nubby paw.

"Well, things are happening. Twi will want to talk to you."

It's strange moving with these second-dimensional legs but we make it eventually to this tree house-looking thing. There are windows high up in the boughs, but they're only connected to the leaves. Huh.

"TWILIIIIIGHT!" this dragon can squall louder than the baby deer that got stuck in my neighbour's swimming pool last summer.

"I'm coming!" Down comes another horrifyingly purple creature, with a long tail and chopped straight-across bangs. She looks equine, and introduces herself as Twilight Sparkle. Ah, a pony! Okay, I'm starting to get things now. I didn't know Equestria could be so…. Well, weird. I'm adjusting.

"Having trouble with any of this?" The Doctor hisses in my ear.

I grip his arm to steady myself.

He laughs his Doctor laugh. "Glad I didn't take you to see the Ood."

"Strangely….me too."

"Well, why don't we sit down so I can discuss something with you." With a clipped, higher-pitched tone, Twilight instructs us as she sits on a chair at the table, her hooves tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Something terrible has happened." She says when we're all settled with fancy little cups of tea. The handles are crafted to fit hooves, so it's awkward to hold. "The Tessaract has gone missing. Agent Fury just sent me a letter. After that whole fiasco with Loki last summer, they had it shipped here, in Equestria, where the crime rate is unrealistically low. We hid it in a cave and enchanted it so everypony would just leave it alone."

The doctor grins and says something about a key necklace and Martha. His knee bounces up and down, shaking the table and causing the plate of biscuits to fall off the table. River's bright red lips twist into a smile as she brushes the crumbs off his suit coat. There's frosting on one of his suspenders.

"We're not exactly sure if it's Loki again, but he's our highest suspect right now. We've reassembled the Avengers Initiative and they will meet you in Asgard. That is… if you'll accept our mission?" her purplish eyes are suddenly full of transparent blue tears as she pouts at us.

"Well… we were looking for an adventure." Says River, her red lipstick still in that same smile.

"What are we waiting for?" The doctor leaps up and brushes the rest of the crumbs off his skinny frame. "To the crime scene! GERONIMO!"

"I have been wanting to know of this Man of Iron, as everyone speaks of." Says Sherlock as we pile into the TARDIS once more.

**Chapter 5**

River

It was odd, bringing a Pony into the TARDIS. The ship existed on a different plane, so once anyone stepped through the doors, it shifted their existence into that plane. One Twilight was in, she shifted into a pony that would be more normal on our plane. It was odd having a purple colored pony nearby, but really, really cool at the same time. Spike, the adorable dragon, however, turned into some kind of very strange lizard thing. I suppose it must have been the closest thing to a dragon in our plane. I think it's called a Komodo Dragon.

This trip was fast, and very smooth. Maybe almost crashing the TARDIS made the Doctor more careful with her. That's what I hoped any way. He was WAY too rough with her.

The cave we stepped into was very dark, and cartoony again.

"Well," Said the Doctor. "It was far to easy to get in here if there was pony magic protecting it."

So that's why he was flying so well.

"It must have been disintegrated when whoever took the Tessaract came in." Twilight answered. Her horn started to glow, lighting up the cavern. In the middle of the room was a pedestal. An empty pedestal.

"That's where it was?" Asked the Doctor.

"Yes" replied Twilight. "I told them to put it somewhere more practical, like a safe, or a bank, but they demanded it had to be more dramatic than that."

"Who?" I asked

"My friends. Rarity came up with this plan, and she helped me put the fortifications. We were going to lock in up in the back, but Rainbow Dash insisted it needed to be 20% cooler, and put it on that platform. We had traps and things set up, but they must not have worked."

"Oh, you people and your need to show thing off. So... any idea who had the abilities to get through those barriers?"

"Well, on our plane, in America, is a boy with a book all about magical creatures. It might have some information about bypassing our defenses. His name is Dipper, and he lives in Gravity Falls. He's the only lead I can think of besides Loki, but Thor has affirmed that he is still captive in Asguard."

"Okay then, it's settled, we'll go to Gravity Falls." The Doctor affirmed.

"I'm not so sure." I interjected. " Loki has pulled some funny stuff before. There's still a possibility that he did this."

"Is there anyway that is Loki person has the capabilities to bring this about?" asked Sherlock

"We're not sure." answered Twilight. " His army WAS destroyed by Iron Man. Maybe he is powerless."

"What do you think Doctor?" asked Amy

"I don't know. I don't know. I need a second opinion. Sherlock, is there anything you can tell from the scene?"

"Well, frankly, yes. Many things. I don't know how many of them will really be helpful."

"Then just yell out anything you see."

"Okay. Down there, there is a hair." He pointed to the floor by the pedestal. "It's rather long, probably from a female. And on the wall over there is some cookie crumbs. Do you think this Loki is foolish enough to leave these kinds of things behind?"

"No." returned Twilight. "Defiantly not. He's to smart to leave any clues. But I also doubt that he would lay a false trail."

"Wait, why does it matter?" asked Amy. "We have a TIME machine. We could go check out both leads and be back here in the same second."

"Oh, yeah." said the Doctor. "Okay. Lets go. Gravity Falls First, yeah?"

"Yeah." Amy answered.

We all piled into the TARDIS again, and off we went.


	5. Chapter 6-7

**Amy**

"Wait a second, wait a second!" I shout. "Wait. While we're already here why don't we go check out what happened here? You guys are making it so much harder. Also I want to see this Loki character while he's my age." I give a saucy grin, but the Doctor just shakes his head and continues to push more buttons. He kicks the base of the machine and the TARDIS revs to life.

"Alright fine. But we better do it later." I mutter and sit at the base of a pillar. The floor jolts and the buttons and machinery jangle, and the air crackles with the tension and excitement of time travel.

CRASH!

Suddenly the door of the TARDIS whips open in the wormhole, and a very tall, young man with broad shoulders leaps in. His face is all scratched up and he wears a dirty button-up shirt with suspenders. A bow tie sits crookedly at his throat.

"What?" The Doctor's face scrunches up. "What?"

"Doctor." He has a Yank's accent and an appealing crooked smile that lights up his dirty face.

"What?"

"I have a perfectly explainable explanation…. Okay, no. No I don't." He says, and turns to see me. He offers his hand. "Well, hello there. I'm Captain Jack Har – "

"Stoppiiit…." The Doctor's head appears from around a computer.

With a shuddering, bouncing stop, the TARDIS lands and we stumble outside. The air is crisp and fresh, and pine trees tower above us. It's still cartoony, and Twilight Sparkle reverts back to her original form.

All of a sudden a piglet comes squealing around the bend of the dirt trail, dressed in a tie and suspenders not unlike Jack's. A twelve year old girl follows, making the same sound as the pig. "Waddles! Come back!" she passes us in a cloud of dust.

"So this is America?" I ask, my nose crinkling.

"Not quite." Jack says defensively and rumples my red hair. "This is a different plane. But it's pretty darn close." He smirks and gives a cheeky wink, and I feel myself turning ruddy.

"Stoppit." The Doctor repeats and River smiles.

"So what are we here to do?" The ride has obviously spooked Twilight in an equine way, and she snorts and paws the ground nervously.

"Well, I believe we're here to interrogate Grunkle Stan." Says River.

"Ugghhnnnn…." I groan and slouch over. "Can I go back to Asgard? This place is too weird."

Jack raises an eyebrow cheekily.

"River knows how to drive."

Her eyes glitter ruminatively as she reminisces. Her ruby red lips mouth something about a picnic and she elbows The Doctor in the ribs. "Just a little while. We'll be back as soon as you've taken Stan, sweetie." Batting her eyes at him, River smiles as the Doctor kisses her between the eyes. He smiles midway and his teeth scrape her forehead.

"Let's do this first. Okay?" He grins at me and I melt. Oh how I've missed my Doctor.

"Fine…."

Twilight snorts and prances in place. "And after this, I'm gone. Back to Equestria for me!"

We walk into a dim cabin labeled the Mystery Shack, where a charismatic old man is gesturing extravagantly to a badly put together stuffed creature. It's obviously fake.

"Ladies and gentlemen," He says, "The Bearrillo. The bear gorilla armadillo. It's one-third bear, one-third gorilla, and one-third armadillo."

"Question." A heavyweight man with a baseball hat raises his hand. "Is it part bear?"

"Kids, get Soos outta here." He motions to the door, and a twelve-year-old boy ushers him out.

"Is it a bear?" Another man raises his hand.

"G'aahhh…." He turns to another "Spectacle," a hole in the ground. "Well, ladies and gents, what's this? Why, it's the Money Pit! Throw your money in there and you'll be exactly that much lower, in exact change."

This dazzles the crowd, and they "ahhh!" as they throw their cash into the ten-foot hole in the ground, where the same twelve-year-old boy rakes it up into a bag.

"Who would think such a nice man would take the Tessaract?" Says Jack, and he twitches a smile my way.

**River**

"How about this?" I say, while everyone is gathering up into a little huddle around me. "We split up. Sherlock, Doctor, and Spike, you're with me. Jack, Amy, and Twilight Sparkle are together. We go investigate Stan, and the kids can go see about that girl with the pig and the boy too. Sound good?" The Doctor faces Jack.

"You try anything with her, and I'll kill you. And once you come back to life, I'll kill you again. Clear?"

"Yes sir!" Jack makes a pouty face, and salutes the Doctor sharply. Then he marches off like a soldier. Twilight trots after him, and Amy copies the Captain's exit motions before following them, somewhat sarcastically.

"Tip top! A mystery to solve. A good old Who-Done-It. Wonderful!"

Sherlock starts heading in the direction that Stan went. I grab the Doctor's hand.

"Let's go sweetie." I smile and him, and he smiles back. Ah, my Doctor. On another adventure.

We head into the Mystery Hack, as it says on the front of the building. In the front there are all sorts of weird things. Eyeballs, a weird antelope thing with wings on it's head, and a red headed girl behind the counter, reading a magazine. She's oddly proportionate for this plane.

"Sup." She says. Then she looks back at her magazine. She doesn't look up again.

I walk through the door in the back of the shop, and behind it is a door, with the word BOSS on it. I look through the window, and inside is the old man, counting some money.

"Hey." I say to the boys. When the Doctor walks toward me he's wearing a fez.

"What do you think? Do I look dashing as ever?" he asks me.

I laugh quietly and point at the door. He looks through the window, and pulls the silly hat off his head. He zips over to Sherlock, investigating a T-shirt with a Jackalope on it. They both come over to the door.

"What do we do? Do we knock?" Asks Sherlock.

"Of course." I say. I knock six times, and on the seventh, I kick the door down.

"Oh. I see."

"Hey! You'll have to pay for that!" The man yells. He's wearing a cheep suit, a fez like the Doctor had on, and an eye patch is sitting above his eye. I don't think that Loki is possessing him, but its hard to tell, because his eyes are just white with dots in the middle.

The Doctor sniff the air. He sonics the safe, and it pops open. It's full of the cartoon paper bills. No Tesseract. Stan slams the safe shut, and yells at us about the law and police. It's all just threats, I can tell he doesn't want the police here.

Sherlock looks around a bit, and affirms that not only is Stan not possessed, but the Tesseract has never been in this room. It's kind of amazing how he can do that.

"So, Stan, ever herd of the Tesseract?" The Doctor asks.

"No. Why? Is it valuable?" Stan's eyes open just a little bit wider. It's really weird, because his eyes already take up half of his face.

"No." I answer him. "Not at all."

His eyes go back to their normal size.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a few cartoony bills.

"For your door." I say. He keeps his hand out as if he's expecting more, but I turn around and walk out, Sherlock and the Doctor following me.

The red head out front hasn't moved much, but she's texting on her phone now.

"Excuse me," I say to her "can I borrow that for a moment?"

"Sure, whatever." She says as she hands it to me. I grab the Doctor's screwdriver out if his pocket, and sonic the phone just a bit, to boost the signal.

"Hey, don't break it." The red head says.

"Don't worry dear." I smile at her. I hand the sonic back to The Doctor, and dial Amy's number. She picks up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Amy, it's River. Stan doesn't have the Tesseract. Have you found the boy or girl yet?"

"No, but we've seen them running around. We can't seem to keep up with them. One second, they'll be in the yard, the next they'll be in the woods. It's a weird cartoon thing. It's like that thing with Donna that one time. Where time just blinks to the important moments.

"Hm. Meet us in the yard outside the Gift Shop. You can talk to the Doctor about it. I'm sure the children will be work their way over here soon.

"Okay. We'll be there in a second."

I hang up the phone and hand it back to the girl. She must have been listening to our conversation.

"You mean Dipper and Mable?"

"The boy with the hat, and the girl with the pig and the crazy sweater?"

"Yeah, that's them. You wanna talk to them?"

I nod.

"Cool. I'll call them over here." She walks over to the door and yells their names. In a few seconds, Dipper runs up, Mable trailing a pig on a leash. The boy looks kinda like a little puppy. Oh, he's so sweet, he's got a crush on the girl.

"Yes Wendy?"

"Yo, Dipper, these guys wanna talk to you"

He turns toward us, somewhat disappointed. We all introduce ourselves, and we learn the pig's name is Waddles. Mable pets him for a while, but then she sees Spike. She runs over to him, picks him up, and squeezes him

"You are the cutest thing I have ever seen!" She squeals. Spike turns just a little bit more purple, and then she puts him down. He squeaks like a dog toy, which doesn't help the case he's trying to make about how he's a ferocious dragon.

"So, what did you guys need?" Dipper asks us.

"Have you ever heard of the Tesseract?" The Doctor says.

"Um, yeah, I think so. That kid Loki told me about it when he asked to borrow my book."

"Loki?"

"Yeah, kid my age, asked to borrow my book. He was just a kid, I figured he must have been in some kind of trouble. I thought the book could help"

The Doctor hits himself in the forehead.

"Head, head so full of stuff I need a bigger head! How could I be so thick!"

"What is is Doctor?" Sherlock asks

"Loki is a God, he can exist on different planes at different times! It's difficult, but he could probably manage it. HE could have gotten out of his jail cell in his form for this plane, and

transferred his consciousness to this plane using projection! It all makes sense! Did you see a red headed girl and a purple pony trailing a guy in suspenders?" He asks Dipper.

"Yeah, I think they were talking to Soos."

"Come on, we've got to get to Asgaurd before Loki breaks out! The Avengers are waiting for us there!"


	6. Chapter 8

Amy

"Okay, let me ask you AGAIN." I say, exasperated. "There's a pale blue box that has the potential to destroy the entire universe. HAVE YOU SEEN IT."

"I'm not sure, dude. I see a lot of boxes around here. Wait. Question: Is it blue?"

"Yes." Twilight answers patiently.

"Yeah, I saw it with that kid over there, dude." Soos motions with his head and continues sweeping up the pine needles from the forest floor.

"Thank you." I glance around the thick forest, looking for a kid. "What did he look like?"

"Eh, dark hair, round blue eyes, about your age, actually. He was wearing green."

"Great. There could be a zillion kids running around that look like that!" Twilight calmly closes her eyes and mutters a spell. She begins to rise above the ground, her eyes glowing. Jack leans back on his heels and watches, astounded.

"There's a child of about sixteen, matching those descriptions, about a half mile that way!" She whinnies. "Grab my horn! Quickly!"

We wrap our fingers around her purple unicorn horn and dissolve into thin air. We land somewhere completely different. I stumble back from the pony, dizzy, and fall backwards. Jack helps me up and I blush at the warmth of his hands. If only I was a little older…

"Hey! What are you foolish humans and equine mammal doing here!" It's Loki, and he's got his hands on a big, old book with a six-fingered hand stenciled on it. He glares at the ground in front of us and I would glare if it weren't for those piercing blue eyes. They're glistening with a layer of tears that reflect off the sunshine, and his eyebrows are furrowed into a triangle shape.

"Please, just…Leave me be!" He turns back and holds his head in his hands, his shoulders hunched.

"DO YOU HAVE THE— "

"Sh-shh!" I hush Jack and hold him back from swiping the kid. "Loki?"

"I am a GOD, puny mortal, how DARE you address me with my first name!" the rage on his face is weakened by his tears.

"What are you gonna do, steal my soul? I'm a ginger, you bloody idiot." Actually, I haven't done any research on whether or not that's true. Maybe I should check before I take chances with a god. I grin and take his hand. "There's nothing you can do to me. What's wrong?

His eyes lock onto mine with disdain at first, and then his composure melts. "I have made a terrible mistake. I've made a bargain with Huntson Abadeer, the soul-sucking ruler of the Nightosphere, to help me take over the world. He told me he would need the Tessaract first, and the Diary of Gravity Falls. Either that, or Tom Riddle's diary, but that was destroyed years ago. I bargained it off to him, but then he betrayed me and left me on this plane. He was my ride here. He didn't take the book, though. It couldn't leave Gravity Falls. For the first time ever… I … I need help."

A god humbled? For Loki, this seemed strange.

"Huntson Abadeer?" Twilight's voice rises. "Huntson… Abadeer?"

"Yes, foolish talking equine."

"We need to find that Tessaract before he destroys everything!" Twilight rises on two hooves and takes off running. I'm about to follow when I feel Loki's arm around my waist. He spins me around and looks into my eyes, then plants the tip of his spear over my heart. A glaze washes over my face and I have no control over my body.

"You're coming with me, Amelia Pond!" He smiles evilly and grabs me by the hand. "The Doctor would pay a pretty price to save his precious little redhead, even helping me take over the UNIVERSE! We're going to the Nightosphere, where you can meet Huntson Abadeer and tremble over the power of his Dalek army!" I race into the woods with him even though everything is screaming at me not to. I can't control myself, literally. And I'm in the hands of what could potentially be the most powerful 16-year-old in the universe.


	7. Chapter 9

River

I wish I could have been faster. Twilight had gotten to us pretty fast, but none of us could teleport like she could, and taking more than two pretty much exhausted her

I broke into the clearing just fast enough for Loki to meet my eyes. Amy stood next to him, her eyes glazed blue. He smiled, a sinister smile. His image shimmered. And I once again I saw him as he was meant to be, as I knew him.

"Hello again, dear River." He said.

His staff stabbed the air, and it to shimmered for a moment. A hole was torn in the fabric of the universe, as he was bending it. He stepped backward into it, pulling Amy with him. And then it collapsed, making a little sucking sound. On the ground was the book. Dipper picked it up and brushed it off. He looked around for a bit, then backed off, seeing The Doctor's face.

"AMY! " The Doctor yelled, sonicing around the spot where the rip was created.

"Amy, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, I will save you! I will save you Amy, don't you doubt it for a second! Amy! I'm coming for you!"

He was kneeling on the ground now, pounding it. I was sure if he was going to cry for a moment, but then he stood up.

"Big mistake." He said, mostly to himself. "Big, big mistake. Because if there's one thing I'm willing to fight for, it's her. It there's one thing I'll go to the ends of existence for, it's her."

He turned to me, and I nodded in agreement.

"So. Here's the plan. I'm dropping Spike and Twilight off at home. The Nightosphere is no place for pony folk. Jack, you'll be useful against the Daleks. Sherlock, any preference on staying or going?

"Can we go pick up John? We work better as a team."

"Sure, fine, whatever. Dipper!" He yelled, swinging around.

Dipper had almost made it out of the clearing now, but he walked forward now.

"I'm going to need that book to save my friend. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dipper answered "But Loki said it couldn't leave Gravity Falls"

"Oh, it doesn't need to. It's obviously a portal directory. I just need to use it as a guide, a kind of axis point for the whole of existence. It's very important it doesn't move until I come tell you it's okay. Or all of my calculations will be off."

"Okay." Dipper affirmed "Wait, what?"

The Doctor looked very annoyed for a moment. He faced Dipper and got down on his knees so they were eye-to-eye.

"I'm going to be traveling between dimensions. It's much more difficult than planes. Without an axis point, it will not only be very easy to get lost, but it could put rips and ripples in the fabric of the universe. It is very important that I use this book not only as a doorway, but also as an axis point. Is all of that clear?"

"I think so." Dipper nodded

"It should be fairly simple to follow Loki's path, especially sense he did such a sloppy job closing the holes behind him." The Doctor said to me.

"Hopefully the Universe doesn't collapse again." I say to him. The last time that happened, it wasn't pretty.

"Nah, we figured that out fine, didn't we." he sonics the book a bit. It opens to a page about gnomes.

"Right then. Twilight, Spike, Sherlock, into the TARDIS." He gives me a look, probably telling me not to mess around with Jack.

"Be quick." I tell him.

"Oh, I'll be home soon honey." He winks, and then runs off into the forest

It's not even five minutes before he's back with Sherlock and John. The TARDIS materialized right next to the book. The doors pop open, and The Doctor hangs out the side. He's wearing a fez again.

"Come along then." He says "We haven't got all day."

He salutes Dipper, and Dipper salutes back. The Doctor runs up to the console, and punches some buttons on the dash. John is sitting on the stars, looking some what befuddled. Outside, the book begins to glow, and it seems to split in half. Through the hole is a red toned, fiery looking place. This should be fun.

"Right then. River, close the doors."

I do as he says, then I run up to the dash to help him drive. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

"Let's go save our Amy." He smiles as me. And off we went.


	8. Chapter 10

**A/N I was really, really excited about this chapter, and I had to wait like 2 weeks for my friend to write it. I was so excited, I wrote the next chapter in like, a day and a half. Hope you guys like it :)**

Amy

"What do you think you're doing, Loki? What do you NEED." I growl. Well, at least I think I do, but I don't feel my lips move. I try to jerk my wrist away from his warm, small hand, but I don't feel the muscles move. Nausea begins to swell in my belly and I groan inside. I feel like a parasite inside somebody else's body; a passenger to a ride.

We march down several flights of stairs and through several corridors. I think the gravity has changed a few times, but I'm never sure. It's like being in David Bowie's Labyrinth, but without the puppets.

Well, besides me, of course.

His hand does feel nice, though, a little less rough and calloused than Jack's or the Doctor's, and when I sneak glances toward his face it looks concentrated, closed off, worried. Like maybe he doesn't want to do this. His tears did look genuine, earlier.

But, of course, this is Loki, the God of Mischief. Maybe he doesn't even know. He seems to be switching his opinions on this rather quickly.

Suddenly the corridor opens to an enormous, endless clearing, a courtyard. The sky is held up by pillars and there are demons everywhere. The place reeks like the inside of someone's mouth and I can feel the moisture in the air. Everyone is screaming horrible, tortured screams, and there is not balance in the place.

His hand tightens around mine and his nose crinkles in disgust at the place. "The Nightosphere. I hate visiting this place." He shakes his head and pulls me onward.

Stretched before us in the stank air was a line of demons, almost all identical except for a few randoms peppered sporadically here and there. It looks as if the line had been there for so long that it had formed a trench and they were all squeezed in. A demon in a rowboat clattered over the top of their heads and stopped at the shore in front of us. They protested from beneath him, but he just poked at them randomly till they shut up.

"Loki?" he said, scratching his belly and not bothering to bow or anything. Wordlessly, he nods and we get into the boat.

"I don't even know where this line begins." He muses. "It's been here so long."

"Hey! You's ain't special!" A demon grabs me by the shirtsleeve and tries to pull me out of the boat. My stomach gives a lurch as I realize his mouth opens two ways, like the opening of a drink lid for a straw. "You's all have to wait like the rest of yous... us." Loki flashes me a look and stabs at the demon, who disintegrates into dust. Another one eagerly takes his place, excited to be that much further in line.

"Disgusting. I hate the Nightosphere." Loki says again.

It's definitely not a smooth ride to Huntson Abadeer's freak palace, as we're riding over the top of horned heads. The boat rower tries to make small talk but finally gives up. I'm not sure if these wretched people are capable of feeling anything but pain, discomfort and frustration. I can smell their unwashed skin strongly and even the intoxicating smell of being hypnotized is blotted out.

Maybe that will sober me up. The awful smell. I try to wiggle my little fingers, straining for the slightest sensation of movement, and my heart leaps at the feeling of rough wood moving beneath me. A tiny smile grows on my lips.

I'm not careful enough though. Loki sees it and curses himself for not keeping the spear over me long enough. "Her mind is still the same!" He spits. He grabs me by the jaw and I look into his captivating blue eyes. I feel the spear over my heart again and my mind is enveloped in blackness.

I awaken in an enormous room, still swarming with demons, and smile at their discomfort. Pain, I grin at myself and feel a little flutter of malice. It feels good.

I yawn and stretch and for some reason am astonished at my ability to control motor movements. When have I not been able to control my arms and legs? Something itches at the back of the inside of my skull as I try to remember, that makes me want to stop trying. Eh, it doesn't matter.

But something feels wrong. Something is just…. Not right. it's unsettling, but I don't want to worry about it. I need to help Loki with his plan. He holds my hand and we stalk straight up to the howling, screaming line that is music to my ears. At the front of the line is the most gigantic living thing I had ever seen: Hunston Abadeer.

"What about you…." He roars in a booming voice. "P, P, or WP?"

"Pain, Pleasure, or Weird Punishment." Loki explains in my ear. His breath smells like cinnamon.

The poor little demon is shaking in his knee-length cowboy boots with the hankerchief wrapped around one of them. "Um…."

"NOPE! WEIRD PUNISHMENT!" Huntson thunders, and zaps him with his finger. The demon explodes into a pile of bananas, which keep multiplying till it's the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. Some demons recoil in disgust, some fear at the bananas, and some come up and begin stuffing the bananas into their mouth or mouths as fast as they can. It's feverishly disturbing, and I love it.

"Loki." He howls, as a statement of our presence. He rises to his feet, which make him taller than a redwood, and begins disintegrating demons left and right, without giving any explanation that we need to be alone to plan. They race back and forth in a panicked frenzy. Some are lucky and leave, but some dart around, crazed with excitement. I watch as one stuffs another demon in its mouth. The demon comes out his ear and starts pulling at his horns, and then gets destroyed by Huntson. Finally the room is cleared, and we are alone.

"Let's get down to business." He says calmly, and Loki sits in a chair that was probably crafted from another demon as Weird Punishment. I sit next to him in a semi-identical chair, which starts gnawing at my legs and howling. Huntson shrinks to the size of a man, and he looks about middle-aged. He's wearing a nice three-piece suit and his shoes are polished.

"Loki, I'm so glad you could make it." says Huntson, ignoring the bellowing and crossing his leg. The sixteen-year-old god shifts uncomfortably in his chair, suddenly against this plan once again. "You are the perfect young man for the job. I tried getting to The Master as well, but he was out for the weekend. Fortunately, I could get to a good-sized Dalek army and President Snow. We put his ingenious brains inside a Dalek bod." He bounces his foot casually and yawns. I can see the soul-sucking creature at the back of his throat, pallid yellow and shiny. "The first thing we must do for universe conquest… Is destroy the Doctor."

The Doctor. Oh, how I hate that man. That back-stabbing, evil man. Because if there's one thing I know, it's that the Doctor is bad. And we will kill him.


	9. Chapter 11

**A/N So, this chapter is really, really long. I was literately up until 3am writing this, because I was so excited, and ideas just kept flowing into my brain. **

River

The ride is so bumpy I get thrown into the bench. I hear a snap, and pain shoots through my left hand. I see John and Sherlock holding on the the rail of the stairs, getting thrown up and down. Jack has managed to stay in mostly the same place, but I can tell he's not enjoying this ride anymore than the rest of us, not matter what the devilish grin on his face says.

The Doctor tweaks things on the dash, but he's getting thrown around almost as much as we are. I try to stagger towards the console to help, but I'm thrown back again by another jolt. Pain shoots through my hand again, and I decide to just stay where I am.

After a few more rough minutes, we finally stop jerking.

The Doctor is out the door before I can even stand up. I cradle my hand as I stumble carefully towards the exit, stepping over bits of debris as I go. I hear his cry of despair before I even make it out the door.

"No, no, no, no, no! This is not where I wanted to end up!" It's clear from all the light outside that we are not in the Nightosphere. We seem to have crashed in some sort of tree. But it has a house inside. Kind if like Twilight's library.

The Doctor turns towards the TARDIS.

"You did this on purpose!" He yells to it.

"Now, I'm sure we can work through this." I say to him, giving him a look.

"We're wasting time. Every second we waste is another second that Amy has to spend in there."

"I know sweetie. I know." I remember my time in the Nightosphere. It's not a time I like to recall.

Suddenly, we hear a voice behind us.

"Yo, Jake. What up with all the noise?" The Doctor and I swing around. I pull my gun out of my holster, and he pulls his fez off his head, holding it like a weapon. Ridiculously terrifying.

A boy in red pajamas climbs down a ladder, and into the room we're in now. He takes a look around at the disaster area we've created.

Suddenly, he pulls a sword from inside a kind of hole in the tree, then rolls behind a table knocked on it's side. He peers over it, the ears of his bear hat poking above his head.

"I don't want any trouble dudes, but if you're evil, I will beat your buns."

"No, no, not evil, just lost. Sorry about your... tree." The Doctor hubs his head with the hand not holding the fez.

The boy stands again, looking over us.

"Not a big deal bro. Our house gets crashed a lot. Have any of you seen my dog?"

"Here! Calls a voice from the wall. From a tiny hole, we see a yellow dog. He climbs out, and grows to full size in a matter of seconds.

"Jake! What have I told you about sleeping in the walls?"

"Um... To only do it when I want to?"

"No bro. We need to work on your listening skills."

The talking shrinking bright yellow dog takes a look around at the mess we've made.

"Aw, man. We just got this cleaned up from the last time Ice King crashed in here."

"It's cool man. Bow tie man said they got lost."

"All right. I'll ask Lady and Cinnamon Bun to help me clean up later. I'm hungry right now. Want some bacon pancakes?"

"Yeah." He looks towards us, noticing the boys that have climbed out of the wreck of the TARDIS. "You dudes want any?"

The Doctor looks towards the TARDIS.

"Mmmmm. Just a second." He runs back through the doors, and from the sounds I hear, he's running diagnostics. Which also means he's hitting things with his big mallet.

It's only a few minutes before he comes out again.

"Unfortunately, traveling dimensions was too much for her. We'll have to give her some time before we do anything close to inter planetary travel. So yeah. I'd say we have time for breakfast."

I can see he's a little unhappy about this. We sit down at the table, me still cradling my hand to my chest.

"I'm The Doctor, by the way. This is River, and the boys are Sherlock, John, and. Jack." He names them in order, and they all wave.

"I'm Finn," answers the boy with the bear hat. "And that's my brother Jake."

By this time, the dog has finished making his bacon and pancake concoction. He slides them onto plates and hands them out. I decline. I'm not really one for breakfast foods in, according to my internal clock, the middle of the night.

The Doctor holds out his hand to shake with the boy. After they shake, I guess Finn decides to just go down the line. I'm next, but Finn has his left hand extended, and my left hand is defiantly broken in at least three places. I extend my right hand, hoping he'll just go with it. But unfortunately for me, he's kind of observant.

"Wohh. Lady, is your hand okay?"

"Yes, yes it's fine. Don't worry."

"Can I see it? It looks pretty purple."

I look down at my had to see that he's right. Though from far away my hand looks just slightly bruised, from close up it's a total train wreck. Now that I've got my hand up away from my chest the boy takes it gingerly.

"Yup. I was right. This lady needs... MEDICAL ATTENTION!"

As Finn yells this out, he pumps his fist in the air, and a ring of light surrounds him. These cartoon worlds are really freaking me out.

"Medical? I can do medical." John says. He and Sherlock have been having silent eye conversations for the past ten minutes.

"Really? I would have thought The Doctor would do the medical stuff." Jake says from the other side of the table.

"He's not that kind of doctor." I answer with a smile.

"Can I look at your hand?" John asks me. I look into his kind eyes, and know that I can trust this man. I give him my hand. He gives it a full examination.

"Doctor, do you have any medical supplies?"

"Um, I think so. Give me a moment."

The Doctor runs off into the TARDIS. He's only gone a moment. When he gets beck, he's holding a briefcase.

He gives it to John, who opens it to find a disarray of all sorts of medical stuff. While he sorts through it, The Doctor comes to sit by me, holding my hand that isn't hurt.

"You could have told me about your hand you know."

"You were busy."

"Doing what?"

"Driving. I can handle these types of things on my own."

"Or I could help you." He looks at me with his deep, grey-blue eyes. Eyes that have seen the universe. The death of planets and stars. The life of galaxies. And in his eyes, I see whole new stars. "Your problems are my problems."

"Okay. Next time I break my hand, I'll tell you."

"How bout just no hand breaking?"

"Okay, deal."

About this time, John has found all the necessary things for setting a bone.

"I wish I had time to do an x-ray. But it's best to be quick with these types of things. Far as I can tell, there wasn't to much splintering, so it should be okay if I just set it. Okay?"

I nod. I've seen men set their own legs and walk away from it. I should be okay.

"Finn?" I call

"Yeah?" I hear from behind me.

"Could you take The Doctor outside? I don't want him to watch this."

"Sure thing bro." The Doctor protests for a little while, but Finn is pretty strong. He gets The Doctor outside in no time.

"Okay River. I have found a little bit of pain killer, but it's not quite enough to make your hand go numb. This might hurt a bit."

"Oh, darling, I've done the whole pain thing. Just fix me."

"Okay. Here goes nothing."

I'm glad we brought John along. He's very good at what he does.

My hand was set within five minutes, and it seemed completely healed in about 15. I know it seems weird. But it's the cartoon stuff. Everything fixes itself.

John had me keep my brace on, just to be safe. He didn't have all the stuff to make a cast, so the brace was the best he had.

While John was fixing my hand, Finn and The Doctor had a nice little chat about how to get to the Nightosphere. Finn was taking us to see a Marceline. Apparently, she is the Vampire Queen.

We were just waiting for Finn to get ready.

When he came down from his room, he was wearing a blue t-shirt, blue shorts and a green backpack. He somehow managed to slip his sword into it, even thigh it was half the size.

"All right." Finn says. "Lets go see Marceline. Jake, can you stretch us there?"

"Sure thing bro."

Suddenly, Jake's out side. And he's as big, if not bigger than the tree house.

"Everyone on my back!" Says Jake, stretching out an arm so we can all climb up. Jack and the boys seem slightly shell shocked. But it's not like they haven't seen worse.

Once we all get comfortable on the giant dog's back, its only a few minutes to the cave we were headed to. Its easier to span long distances then you're huge.

When we stop, Jake shrinks down to a more manageable size, and we all get off him, and into a boat waiting just inside the cave. Finn and Jake row us to the other side of the long lake. It's cold, and slightly dank, smelling like a good cave should. Though it's dark, I can clearly make out a simple house close to the shore. Not at all the place you'd expect a vampire to live.

Once we get close enough, we can hear the deep licks of a bass being played, and a girl singing something about chips.

Finn walks up and knocks on the door, Jake now shrunken down, hiding in his backpack. I guess the vampire queen scares him.

The door swings open, and a melodic voice calls "Hey Finn. Come on in."

Even as we funnel in, the girl doesn't stop playing her bass. Which also looks to be an axe.

She has dark hair, that kind if floats around her head. It's sort if pulled back into a pony tail, but it seems that the hair didn't want to cooperate, because it's still hanging all over her face. She's wearing a grey stripes shirt, and torn blue jeans. She floats several feet off the ground.

After introductions are all made, she grabs an apple from the fridge. As she bites into it, the color seems to run from the surface, draining into her mouth. The fruit collapses in on it self, sucked dry. Marceline throws the now grey apple core in the trash.

"So, Marcie. Why are you up? Don't you like, sleep during the day?" Finn asks her.

"I couldn't sleep." Marceline sighs "There's an evil brewing, and its making my vampire senses go crazy."

"Where's the evil? I will kick evil's butt!" Finn says. He pulls his sword out of his backpack, preforming a few swipes at imaginary monsters.

"No Finn. It's not in Ooo. It's in the Nightosphere."

"Oh. But isn't there always evil there?"

"Well, yeah. But it's like hyperactive."

The Doctor seems to have gone in some kind if thinking stupor, because this is the quietest he's been in a while. I leave him alone, hoping something good will come of it.

"Marceline." The Doctor turns towards her. " My friend is trapped in the Nightosphere. Do you have any idea how to get her out?"

"Well, you could always do the bug juice portal. But that will probably take you right to my dad, and you don't want that. If he's working on an evil scheme, you don't want to go any where near him."

"No, but, that's exactly where I need to go. Because he's the one who took my friend. Well, not really. His friend took my friend. Whole circle of friends. How exactly would I use this bug juice portal."

Marceline gives him the you-must-be-crazy look, but The Doctor ignores it.

"First, you have to draw a smiley face. Then you douse it with bug juice-"

Before she can finish, the ground starts to rumble. Things fall off shelves. Sherlock falls into John. The Doctor grabs my hand.

And the wall splits open. Marceline is the first to peer through the opening.

On the other side is Loki, standing by a grayish looking man, wearing a suit.

"Dad?" Marceline says first. "What are you doing?"

"Well, honey, I just wanted to-"

"Amy!" The Doctor yells. I see her standing behind Loki, her eyes bright blue. And she's holding a bow.

Suddenly, she draws it pointing it at The Doctor.

"Not another step Doctor Man." she says coldly.

He freezes.

And Marceline looks over to Loki.

"Nick?" She says. "I thought I banished you to the crystal dimension!"

Finn makes a face. "Who's Nick?"

Marceline growls, obviously not happy to see him again.

"He's my husband. He's the one who turned me into a vampire. Afterward, I overthrew him, and banished him."

Huntson laughs. "His name's not really Nick. Back when you were human, I asked him to turn you into a vampire so that you didn't die too soon. I do need someone to take over the Nightosphere when I'm ready."

Loki waves hello to Marceline. She looks a little shocked.

"Don't worry, you're 100% Vampire, but I had to ha e someone I trust turn you. So I called in a little favor with Loki here, and he got the job done."

Suddenly, Huntson steps through the portal that's in the wall.

"I'm sorry Marceline, but I can't have you getting in the way of my plan." He nods to Loki. And something blue shoots out of his staff, hitting Marceline in the chest. And she freezes. Not like in a block of ice, but she just stops.

The Doctor Sonics her.

"Temporal Time Lock. She won't be able to move until someone unlocks her." He says to says to me.

"Right Doctor." Loki says. And he shoots another one at Finn, who was racing toward him with his sword raised.

Loki steps into the room too, Amy trailing behind him.

"Amy." The Doctor says, looking relieved. "Can you hear me?"

"Oh, I can hear you just fine. I just don't want to." She sends an arrow flying, nearly hitting him in the arm. Luckily, I pulled him out of the way in time.

"Amy, what happened? What did he do to you?"

We're hiding behind the couch now. She shoots another arrow into it, the head going all the way through, so the shaft is completely hidden. It stops at the fletching.

"He opened my eyes." We hear her laugh, almost sadistically.

"Amy, let's go." We hear Loki's voice. "It's not time yet."

As we hear her withdraw, The Doctor and I make a silent decision.

We run for the portal, straight to the Nightosphere. Straight to our doom.


End file.
